They say your attitude determines your latitude...

Lately, I have been feeling a little perplexed. People around me and close to me have pointed out my "bad attitude" numerous times before however it hit me hard when an old friend from school broke it down to me. I was speaking with her about my life and past relationships, and I mentioned that me and a guy I was once with stopped talking and he cited the reason for this break-up was my attitude. I didn't really care that he said this because I had previously heard this from him before. When speaking with this friend she felt where he was coming from, however, she didn't completely agree until later on in that conversation. I recall telling her that that realtionship might as well be completely over cuz my attitude wasn't gonna change. Her attitude towards that comment was slightly surprising. She said "Well do you know what that means Jamara, it means that you are complacent with yourself and you will never change and never grow." I never thought of it like that. Most people just accept me for me and just realize that I have a smart mouth... and a bad attitude. But the truth is I have no reason to have a bad attitude. Although things don't always go as I plan, I know that I am truly blessed. My problem is, my attitude doesn't show such.
With all of this being said, for the last ummm.... I guess two days I have been attempting to lose the negativity. The only thing about it is, I feel like I'm being fake. I feel like I'm making myself be genuine, and that's the same as "acting real" it's an oxymoron. I'm constantly finding myself holding things back, then trying to cover up my responses, or smart remarks with undisguised "nothings" and "that's great." How do I be genuinely nice? Do I have to completely reform and restructure myself? You know what??? I do. And maybe once I get into the habit of not speaking negativity, it will come naturally. I will evolve into a better person and this will draw more positive people into my circle. So that's my mission... to become a better person and get "high" (reference blog title). This journey may be difficult and time consuming, but definitely attainable. So... Good Luck Jamara!!!